Mati Boulakia-Bortnick - The Autistic Coach

I’m a multi-disabled, autistic (amongst other things) human living in Paris. I’ve spent over four decades navigating a world that wasn’t built for me, living and working in the US, UK, Greece, Israel, and France.

I was diagnosed as autistic in the late 1980s and, like many autistic humans of my generation, was tossed between gifted programs and special education, subjected to bullying, ABA, and forced to mask to survive and stay safe.

In university, I started unlearning the medical model of autism and exploring the Neurodiversity Paradigm, which reshaped my understanding of myself and my work. Later, I was also identified as ADHD and C-PTSD, pieces of the puzzle that clarified so much of my experience and helped me to understand myself more than I ever had.

My work is about creating spaces where autistic humans don’t have to fight to exist. I coach autistic humans 1-on-1, lead peer support spaces, and run workshops on autistic burnout, executive function, energy management, and boundary-setting. I help autistic humans actually figure out what works for them – not what neuronormative people think should work, but real, sustainable self-care and regulation strategies that honor our needs instead of punishing us for having them.

I teach people how to recognize their limits, manage their energy, and stop running themselves into the ground. A lot of my work is about undoing the damage of internalized ableism – helping autistic humans shift from seeing themselves as broken to understanding how they actually function, what they need, and how to build a life that supports them.

I believe that the best way to learn about yourself isn’t by forcing yourself into someone else’s framework but by having the space to breathe, reflect, and experiment without fear of failure. The spaces I create aren’t about giving people answers – they’re about giving people oxygen to figure things out for themselves, on their own terms. We don’t need someone else to tell us who we are – we need the room to listen to ourselves.

I teach in the Autistic Peer Support Coach Program of the Autistic Peer-Support Coaching Collective, where I train autistic coaches to support their peers in ways that affirm our needs instead of trying to fit us into neuronormative frameworks. I also consult organizations on how to build actually neuro-affirming workplaces – not just performative inclusion, but real, systemic change that challenges ableist productivity culture. I also work with independent bookshops and cafés on creating sensory-friendly spaces that welcome neurodivergent patrons, offering training, product selection guidance, and structural recommendations.

At the heart of my work is a commitment to decolonizing autism – rejecting the deficit model, challenging capitalist narratives of worth, and fostering interdependent, sustainable autistic communities. I build spaces where autistic humans can connect, share experiences, and unlearn the garbage we’ve been taught about ourselves.

My work is deeply rooted in disability justice, anti-capitalist critique, and Jewish spirituality. It’s about helping autistic humans do more than just survive – t’s about reclaiming space, building community, and reshaping the world in ways that actually work for us.

I am the Educational Director and Peer Support Director of the Jewish Autism Network, where I lead educational programs and support groups for hundreds of autistic Jews each month. I am also the spiritual director of La Shul—an intentionally queer, disabled, neuro-affirming Neo-Hasidic community in the working-class suburbs of Paris. I serve on the Board of Directors of SVARA and am the co-editor of the forthcoming Neurodivergent Torah (Ben Yehuda Press, 2026).